Back to work

I've been back to work for the last week. I'm surprised that it hadn't been too difficult actually. Maybe I was so busy with all the things I had to do in school that I didn't really have time to miss PP. Then again, as Hubb would say," you are only in school for half a day what.. " Really, I think the main thing was that I DIDN'T have time to miss PP. The hours in school were divided between meetings, markings, breakfasts (this I like), pumpings. And the hours just flew by.

I must say that PP has been very well taken care of. I'm glad that he doesn't have any bad habits that are usually associated with kids taken care of by grandparents (due to over-pampering). He sleeps well and feeds fairly well.

Tomorrow is another school day again. I dread having to wake up so early in the morning and drag myself to school. I just do not get enough sleep that I'm usually sleepy by 10-11am in the morning. I still have a lot of work to do in school.. urgh..

I realise that I do like working. I enjoy the kind of stimulation I get from working. I guess it keeps me from becoming stupid. :) It's just that I have I have so little time with PP when I'm working. By the time we get back home, we have so little time to squeeze in playing, and reading to him. Everything has to be done is such a rush. It is either that or we are just too tired to do anything with him by then. I feel very bad when this happens, especially now that PP is becoming so alert and responsive. Sometimes I wonder if we are actually the bottleneck in his development. If we had more time with him, will we be able to read to him more, play with him more, help him in his development more?

Learning to let go

I’ve started bringing PP to MIL’s place to get him used to waking up in the morning and be taken care of by someone else. Actually, I think that the entire process is actually to get ME used to the idea that I am returning to work soon and I have to learn to let go.

I guess it is just every mother’s usual anxiety that their baby is leaving them. I know that it is a little extreme to say that my baby is leaving me (or me leaving my baby). I just can’t help but feel this way. In the last 4.5 month (5 next week), Kieran has been my everything. It’s been Kieran in the morning, Kieran in the afternoons and Kieran in the evenings. Still I want more of him.

Looking at the past few days that PP has been shuttled too and fro, I must admit that he is much more adaptable than I am. Maybe L was right. All he needs is someone to play with him, feed him and change his diapers. Does he still need Mummy? *self-doubt*

I know that he will be well-taken care of by his grandparents, who dote on him (he gets pampered a little more than I would like him to be actually). I guess I have to accept that things may not be done as exactly as I would like, but still, his grandparents will still do their best to make sure that their little grandson is comfortable and happy. I’m glad that there is Anita here, who also loves him and patiently pats him to sleep, changes his diapers and prepares his milk. Yes, I’m sure that PP will be well-taken care of.

With me going back to work, I guess PP can learn to be a little independent too. I don’t think it is too early to instill independence in a child. He will learn that we are here for him whenever he needs us, but he does not necessary need to see us all the time.

Even though I know that Kieran is in good hands, I still look forward to the day that I’ll be able to stay at home and watch him grow. I would love to see him take his first steps, say his first words and also to comfort him when he falls for the 1st time. I remember the exhilaration I felt when I saw him turn onto his front for the 1st time the other night. I wouldn’t want to miss all these.

In learning to let go of PP a little, I also have to refocus on my role as a wife and a partner to my neglected hubby. J I think I’ve neglected him ever since PP was born. It was initially PP all the time as we were trying to figure him out, later it became PP all the time because I couldn’t let him go. It should be L time now. Yes. It has to be this way. We also have to be role models to PP so that he grows up in an environment where he is loved and he sees that Mummy and Daddy are also very much in love.

Maybe it’s really good idea that I return to work for a little while.

Separation anxiety

I'll be returning back to school soon. Very soon actually. In about 3 weeks time. I think I am experiencing separation anxiety here. I have insomnia every night. I toss and turn in bed for 1-2hrs before I fall asleep ( and very often that's like 1-2 hrs before Kieran wakes up for his night feed).

I worry about loads of things. I worry if he will be able nap in the afternoons, whether there will be enough milk for him in the fridge, whether his cries will be understood.

I worry that his milk will be heated up too warmly for him, thus scalding him. Or that all the beneficial nutrients in his milk becomes lost because he is made to drink "hot" milk.

I worry about all the cigarette smoke that he may come in contact with (tho' we are working on that), I worry that he will be brought out without his car seat or with him seated in the front seat.

Most of all, I am going to miss his 'singing' and yelling for Mummy to help him reach for a toy or his smiles and gurgles when I play with him. I will also miss his wake-up, blurry smiles in the mornings...

Sigh...

Bad Breastfeeding Advice..

Found this on: http://www.mother-2-mother.com/bad-advice.htm

Finally!!

Bad Bfing advice
Here is a collection of ‘bad advice’ that many women are given in regard to breastfeeding from nurses, family, friends, etc. This bad advice is usually given with the very best intentions and is not meant to be ‘bad’. Please let me know if you have any questions about anything stated here!

*You must ‘prepare’ your nipples: rubbing with a towel/loofah/washcloth, pinching, pulling, etc.

Leave your nipples alone! Your nipples were designed to breastfeed. Do not do anything to them; nipple stimulation is a labor inducer. During your third trimester, you can put Lansinoh cream on them, but you shouldn’t have to do anything else. Once you are nursing, use only warm water to wash your breasts, as soap may dry your nipples.

*Don't put Lansinoh cream directly on your nipples; it will cause clogged ducts .

Put it right on them; that’s what it’s for. Also, it does NOT need to be washed off before baby nurses.

*Baby shouldn’t nurse more than every 3-4 hours or you’ll spoil her.

In the first few weeks, baby should eat at least every 3 hours-this is a minimum. It will often be closer to every 2 hours, as breastmilk digests in approximately 90 minutes. An increase in nursing time and frequency will happen during growth spurts, changes in routine, etc. Nurse on demand, as nursing is also a source of comfort for baby. You can never nurse too often; you can nurse too little. It’s a common thought that babies under 6 months cannot be spoiled.

*Switch breasts every 5-7 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.

Never watch the clock when you are nursing. Baby will tell you that he is done by pulling off of your breast or falling asleep. When baby is finished with one breast, offer the second, though baby may or may not take it.

*You must not have enough milk, your milk must be bad, you should use formula if: baby is nursing so often, for such long periods, you don’t think you are pumping enough, etc. Baby will go through growth spurts, may cluster feed, or have some ‘marathon’ nursing sessions for any number of reasons. It does NOT mean your supply is low or that your milk is ‘bad’. These increases in frequency will come and go, but they will not last forever. Continue to feed on demand.
Never, never, never look to length of time nursing or pumping output as a reliable indicator of your supply. To see if baby is getting enough milk, watch her number of wet diapers and if she’s content after eating. Weight gain and meeting developmental milestones is also a good indicator that she’s getting enough. Your baby nursing is much more efficient than even the best breast pump.

*It won’t hurt to give one bottle of formula, a pacifier, etc:

Both bottles and pacifiers can cause nipple confusion. With a bottle, baby may also decide he likes the faster flow of a bottle and may refuse the breast. Artificial nipples should only be introduced once nursing has been well established for a minimum of 3 weeks.
Milk production is a supply and demand process. If you give baby that one bottle of formula, your body will think baby doesn’t need as much milk, and will decrease your supply. With a lower supply, you will have to supplement with more formula, your body will continue to decrease your supply, and you’ll soon be down to nothing.

*Give baby a little cereal in a bottle; it will help him sleep through the night. Babies need NOTHING but breastmilk until at least 6 months of age. This cuts down on developing food allergies and gives the digestive tract time to mature. All babies are different, and giving cereal will not always guarantee sleeping through the night.

*There are no benefits to nursing past 6 months.

The six month mark recommended by the APA, WHO, etc. is a minimum. The benefits to baby and you will continue as long as you breastfeed. In cases where food allergies are expected, breastfeeding is recommended a full year.

*If you have a sore breast, don’t nurse with it for a day or two.

This can lead to a supply problem. Unless it’s very, very painful, you should nurse even a sore breast. It’s best to offer the healthy breast first, as baby will then be more gentle with the second breast. It’s best to see your doctor if you develop any problems ASAP.

*You can’t nurse if you’re sick.

The only illnesses that require you to stop breastfeeding are HIV/AIDS HTLV-1 and septicetmia from food poisioning. If you are sick, do continue to breastfeed-baby has already been exposed, and your milk will develop specific antibodies to whatever you have. If you are given medication, be sure your care provider knows you are breastfeeding. If a medication isn’t okay to take while breastfeeding, there is usually an alternative.

*Your baby isn’t getting enough milk when given a bottle.

Up to 6 months, an exclusively breastfed baby will only need approximately 3 ounces of breastmilk per feeding if eating every 3 hours, 2 ounces if eating every 2 hours. As baby grows, your breastmilk becomes more concentrated with the nutrients it produces. Formula doesn’t change, which is why it must be continually increased as baby grows. If baby seems to be eating significantly more than that, it’s most likely that the person giving baby the bottle isn’t adequately reading the signs that baby is finished.

*If baby is born and not producing enough wet diapers, you must supplement with formula.

If there is a problem with baby not getting enough milk, pumped breastmilk is a better alternative to formula. To avoid nipple confusion, baby should be fed with a medicine dropper, oral syringe, etc. Babies are born with extra water to carry them through until mom’s milk ‘comes in’, generally 3-5 days after giving birth.
*It is better bottle feed ... you can make your DH get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. It isn't fair that you should have to do all the work. Okay, formula feeding is easier on mom. For about the first month, you will be the ONLY person that can feed her. This will take up a good portion of your post-partum time and energy. Dad and siblings need to realize that they’ll really have to do many of the chores: cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.

*If your child is dehydrated, you must stop breastfeeding.

Baby will not need any supplements to prevent dehydration IF he/she is eating often. Pedialyte can be used in addition to breastmilk, but should not replace it. Breastmilk does not dehydrate like cow’s milk.

This list was compiled from "bad bf advice" given to moms from iVillage's Breastfeeding Support/Ask the LC board, and brought together for us here by Theresa. Thank you, moms, and thank you Theresa for sharing this with us!
Copyright © 2000 - 2006 Jim Yount

Why delay solids?

People have been coming up to me, telling me that K can start solids soon, i.e. next month (@ 4 mths). I've been trying to explain that I would prefer to delay it as late as possible, preferably 6 months. However, it's quite difficult as they (same people, different people...) keep come to me saying, it's ok to give solids already, rice cereal will not give allergies, baby will sleep through the night.. etc. So sometimes, it's quite tiring to have to explain myself! Times have changed. Research now shows that it is beneficial to delay solids until the baby is 6 months old and here's why!

Article taken from: http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/delay-solids.html

Reasons for delaying solids

Although some of the reasons listed here assume that your baby is breastfed or fed breastmilk only, experts recommend that solids be delayed for formula fed babies also.

Delaying solids gives baby greater protection from illness.
Although babies continue to receive many immunities from breastmilk for as long as they nurse, the greatest immunity occurs while a baby is exclusively breastfed. Breastmilk contains 50+ known immune factors, and probably many more that are still unknown. One study has shown that babies who were exclusively breastfed for 4+ months had 40% fewer ear infections than breastfed babies whose diets were supplemented with other foods. The probability of respiratory illness occurring at any time during childhood is significantly reduced if the child is fed exclusively breast milk for at least 15 weeks and no solid foods are introduced during this time. (Wilson, 1998) Many other studies have also linked the degree of exclusivity of breastfeeding to enhanced health benefits (see Immune factors in human milk and Risks of Artificial Feeding).

Delaying solids gives baby's digestive system time to mature.
If solids are started before a baby's system is ready to handle them, they are poorly digested and may cause unpleasant reactions (digestive upset, gas, constipation, etc.). Protein digestion is incomplete in infancy. Gastric acid and pepsin are secreted at birth and increase toward adult values over the following 3 to 4 months. The pancreatic enzyme amylase does not reach adequate levels for digestion of starches until around 6 months, and carbohydrate enzymes such as maltase, isomaltase, and sucrase do not reach adult levels until around 7 months. Young infants also have low levels of lipase and bile salts, so fat digestion does not reach adult levels until 6-9 months.

Delaying solids decreases the risk of food allergies.
It is well documented that prolonged exclusive breastfeeding results in a lower incidence of food allergies (see Allergy References and Risks of Artificial Feeding). From birth until somewhere between four and six months of age, babies possess what is often referred to as an "open gut." This means that the spaces between the cells of the small intestines will readily allow intact macromolecules, including whole proteins and pathogens, to pass directly into the bloodstream.This is great for your breastfed baby as it allows beneficial antibodies in breastmilk to pass more directly into baby's bloodstream, but it also means that large proteins from other foods (which may predispose baby to allergies) and disease-causing pathogens can pass right through, too. During baby's first 4-6 months, while the gut is still "open," antibodies (sIgA) from breastmilk coat baby's digestive tract and provide passive immunity, reducing the likelihood of illness and allergic reactions before gut closure occurs. Baby starts producing these antibodies on his own at around 6 months, and gut closure should have occurred by this time also. See How Breast Milk Protects Newborns and The Case for the Virgin Gut for more on this subject.

Delaying solids helps to protect baby from iron-deficiency anemia.
The introduction of iron supplements and iron-fortified foods, particularly during the first six months, reduces the efficiency of baby's iron absorption. Healthy, full-term infants who are breastfed exclusively for periods of 6-9 months have been shown to maintain normal hemoglobin values and normal iron stores. In one study (Pisacane, 1995), the researchers concluded that babies who were exclusively breastfed for 7 months (and were not give iron supplements or iron-fortified cereals) had significantly higher hemoglobin levels at one year than breastfed babies who received solid foods earlier than seven months. The researchers found no cases of anemia within the first year in babies breastfed exclusively for seven months and concluded that breastfeeding exclusively for seven months reduces the risk of anemia. See Is Iron-Supplementation Necessary? for more information.

Delaying solids helps to protect baby from future obesity.
The early introduction of solids is associated with increased body fat and weight in childhood. (for example, see Wilson 1998, von Kries 1999, Kalies 2005)

Delaying solids helps mom to maintain her milk supply.
Studies have shown that for a young baby solids replace milk in a baby's diet - they do not add to baby's total intake. The more solids that baby eats, the less milk he takes from mom, and less milk taken from mom means less milk production. Babies who eat lots of solids or who start solids early tend to wean prematurely.

Delaying solids helps to space babies.
Breastfeeding is most effective in preventing pregnancy when your baby is exclusively breastfed and all of his nutritional and sucking needs are satisfied at the breast.

Delaying solids makes starting solids easier.
Babies who start solids later can feed themselves and are not as likely to have allergic reactions to foods.

Is there life after baby?

It seems that my life (and blog) just revolves around K these days. What to do? I'm a mother!! Nonetheless, I have to constantly remind myself that I am also a wife to the most wonderful husband that a girl can have.

I don't think I've been a fantastic wife ever since K was born. The house is in a mess, every conversation that Hubb has with me is either about how much milk K is drinking, how much I'm expressing, how many times K pooped/peed. I think I need to give a little more Hubby time! He's really fantastic though. He rushes home from school just to be with baby and me, knowing that I stay at home the entire day, he'll bring us out even though he's dead tired! So, here's a big !HUGZ! to the most wonderful Hubby and Daddy around!!

I never thought I'll be this happy, staying at home, going through cycles of feeding, bathing and diapering a baby. I used to want to excel in my career, have loads of other things. Guess my piorities have changed. I am content now. Kieran has brought me a new happiness that didn't existed before. It's a tiring job, but more satisfying than any other in the world.

I love seeing his gummy, drooly smile
I love catching hints of everyone I know in his baby face.
I love the way he smiles at me after being naughty, as though saying, sorry Mummy, I'm just having fun with you.
I love his gurgles and coos, especially when he makes appropriate sounds at appropriate moments, that stumps us and cracks us up.
I just love it that he's our baby!

And yes, there's still life after baby. Just that it's a different life. :)

3 month old baby sleeping so little?

I've been having sleepless nights! Not that I'm fussing over anything.. it's just that Kieran suddenly decides that he should wake up many many times at night to feed..!!
Last night was..
10pm
2am
5am

this was slightly better than the night before..
8pm
12mn
1am
3am
5.30am

What's up??

A different life.

I've left this in the draft for so many days and I just didn't have the time to complete it.. I shall just publish it as it is..

Many years ago, I wouldn't even imagine myself married/having kids at this age. I used to think that I would get married at 28 and probably have kids 2-3 years later. It's funny how decisions that you make can actually turn your entire life around. Right now i want to have all my kids as soon as possible. I want to be able to play with my children, run about with them in the parks, before I get too old and lack the energy to do so.

After having K, I find that I've finally grown up. I can no longer be irresponsible for myself. Not only do I have to take care of myself, I have somebody else's life in my hands. How K grows up will depend largely on the values we pass on to him. That is a humungous load/burden/responsibility. Loads of what-ifs float about in my head...

National Day!

Started the day at my in-laws'. And since K looked so good in this Ralph Lauren, we just had to take some pictures.

Then it was off to Sis' place to view the fireworks display. Didn't really take pictures tho' was too busy playing with the kids there and enjoying the show!

My darling and I

Then it was back to celebrate MIL's birthday!!

More photos here

Haven't been blogging much...

Haven't been blogging much these days. I usually only have time to photo blog a little.

K has been sleeping lesser and lesser these days and thus leaving me with less of my own time. Not complaining though. It's really an enjoyment watching K grow and develop by leaps and bounds. He's discovered his fingers and thumbs in the last 2 days and thus trying very hard to figure out how they taste! His fingers are quite yucky and salivery now! It's actually quite gross when he wipes them on me! What to do.. my son!! I love him!

Having a baby really requires one to slow down. Stop and smell the roses (or in this case, the poop). We can still do the things we used to do, just not all the things, all the time. I'm contented to just stay at home the entire day and just watch K grow. I think it's really a mad rush for us, sometimes, to bring K around because we are obliged to do so. He's shuttled from place to place, just because the adults around him have things to do. Or, he's trying to get to sleep and people around him want him to wake up to play! He only has to open 1 eye to peep and everyone around him thinks that he is already waking up and starts cooing at him, insisting that he is awake when what he really wants is to fall back asleep. As such his sleep gets disrupted and then we get upset because he is not sleeping well and say that he is grouchy! What complication!

Everyone says that we have to let baby get used to the noise around him so that he can sleep anywhere and everywhere. How would I like it if someone's blasting the TV while I'm trying to sleep?!! Neither do I go around sleeping in the living rooms of someone's house. So why make baby do that?? Puzzling.

My Baby & I

Lo and Behold! The Odyssey begins!!

Shiok!!

Our new car is here!!

Yipee!!! We've got our new car! It seems that there only only about 10 of them on the road now and I'm sure we are the only white around!! Photos later...!!

This is fun!!

http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf

Weight gain

according to this webbie, i think K is gaining well.. :)

Life's never gonna be the same again!

Nope. I don't mean it in the negative sense. I quite enjoy the fact that we have a little one to share our life now. However, things are quite different already. Every outing is a major operation, every decision has to be made with the little one in mind. It's a good change.

Went out with the cousins (R&S, J&D, A) to watch Pirates of the Caribbean (okie.. reviews for another session). It was only a few hours away from Baby and I was already missing him. Before getting tickets for the show, we had to make sure that there was someone to watch him for us. Still, I didn't like the feeling of being away from him. I missed him so much that I could not stop kissing him when we got back. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and hug him and hug him and hug him... That few hours away from him made me thankful even for the days that he is grouchy and fussy. I think we've been blessed with a wonderful and loving baby.

Another rather major change in the family home is that we've got grilles on our windows. A precautionary measure to prempt the active behaviour of our little one in a few months time. don't really fancy the idea of grills but for the safety of everyone, gotta do what we gotta do.

There will be many more changes to come. Some good, some utterly irritating. I guess we'll just take it one step at a time, enjoying the entire process.

The white elephant

We started putting K on our bed out of convenience for the night feeds, such that it seems that he now favours our bed. His crib is now functioning as a changing station/ clothes holder/ extra table space... I've been trying to put him on his crib to sleep but it seems that he doesn't sleep as long or as soundly as when he's on our bed. So we've kinda decided to dismantle it and keep it till he's a little bigger and convert it into a bed for him. *crossing fingers* hopefully he sleeps in it then. Or else, we'll keep it for number 2! *wink*

It's a great day!

Today has been a fantastic day so far!! Why?

1. K's been a very good boy. He woke up, drank his milk, played for about 1/2hr, then went back to nap with considerably less fuss as compared with the last few days!! He did this during his 10am feed and just now at 2pm! Good job Darling! I think he knows that he's home with Mummy, and that Mummy will not give in to his tantrums. Ha. Still, it's been a great improvement! Love you sweetie pie.
2. Because K's napping wekk, I managed to do the laundry, clean up the floor and even come online to blog!
3. Hubb's home early today and he bought 20 piece Mcnuggets! It's been a long time since we've done this Mcnugget thingy! It was fun!
4. We had dinner at The Rice Table last night with Aunts, A Jenny, Jus, Doreen, Sue & Reza. We had a good time. Again, K was kind enough to sleep for about 1/2h, thus we all could eat in peace.. haha..

Our rules!!

Got this off someone else's blog:

Hope this time round the folks would be too busy with the firstborn so that Hubby and I can really get a routine down with the second-born.

This time round, NO carry to sleep!!!!

Carry to comfort & calm down, okay, but not to make the baby sleep.

NO bad guilt about milk supply!!!

NO STARING at my boobs while I breastfeed please!!!

NO FORMULA MILK until *I* say so!!!

Basically The Baby Whisperer has a good routine (E.A.S.Y) for babies so that everyone's lives are more predictable and manageable:

E: Eat

A: Activity

S: Sleep

Y: Your time

Looks like the "carry to sleep" is a universal issue!! This is the very problem that I am facing. K simply has to be carried to sleep in the afternoons. However, I notice that he is more so like this on weekends when he is at his grandparents' place. I think he knows that there are A LOT of people there who want to carry him. He is usually quite cooperative when he's home alone with me. He knows that I will not give in to his crying easily and the tantrums stop in a shorter period of time and he falls asleep. Like this morning, he woke up at about 8am with wind in his tummy. I didn't have to carry him up. I just had to rub is tummy, pat him a little and he went back to sleep after passing out the wind. The same goes for his night sleeps. He can fall asleep on his own..

I think that many people do feel a sense of accomplishment when the baby falls asleep in their arms. It's like, "looks, I managed to get the baby to quieten down and sleep!!" *big smile* Try getting him to sleep on their own, that's the bigger challenge!

Sometimes, I feel bad to let him cry and cry when there are other people around. Also, when I allow him to cry, some people look at us, thinking that we are idiots, not to pick the baby up to stop him from crying.

My way of dealing with K is only to pick him up to calm him down and then try to get him to sleep on his own, but NOT to hold him till he is very sound asleep. I think he's so used to being carried that he is now a very light sleeper in the afternoons. He sleeps very well in the arms of people but will wake up immediately when put down. This is not good.. sigh.

Back to the statements above, at least i managed the "no formula until i say so" :)

Still trying to go towards the EASY... whatever it is, I have to be firmer and make everyone deal with K according to OUR rules. They only play with him, we have to clean up the mess that's left behind..

Kieran & Janelle

Took this photo about a month ago. Hehee..